I know what you’re thinking:
“Ummm! Coach T, this topic is far from motivational, inspirational or remotely happy!”
Yes I know that and that’s why I wrote this for you so perhaps it will help soften your perception on death and the way you feel about it too.
Believe me when I tell you, thinking about death is pretty tough and heavy on me too, let alone taking so much time writing an entire article about it.
But I believe just like every other aspect of our lives, it deserves our attention instead of hating and ignoring it at all costs.
We can change our perception to add even more quality to our lives.
God knows how many funerals and “celebration of life” ceremonies I’ve been to over the past few years which at some point accentuated my fear of loss and at the same time strengthened me to help console the friends in pain of loss.
It never gets easier but it sure does open your eyes to your life in “the now”.
I learned an amazing new lesson yesterday which I hadn’t thought of before and I wanted to share it with you today.
But before I tell you about that one I’ll share what I’ve learned from such events so far:
- Just when you think you don’t have anymore to give, miraculously you find the extra energy within you for those loved ones suffering in the debilitating pain of loss.
- Even if you are the most grateful person in the world, you will still find even more room for gratitude.
- You practice self love even more otherwise you’ll burn out really fast.
- You purposely stay in your moments longer and with even more awareness.
- You don’t sweat over the smaller things as much. The stress is just not worth any of it.
- You smile more (hard to imagine in my case as my “smile-muscles” are already overworked!), hug more, open up more, listen more carefully, rest more, and so much more.
I think now you’re ready to read the one lesson I wanted to share with you separately.
Trust me this one deserves its own attention:
Yesterday I attended yet another heartbreaking farewell ceremony: it was a very sad occasion, yet so beautifully organized by the family who shared their pain with many loved ones present.
I’ve known most of whom who were attending and many of whom I hadn’t seen in a very long time which was very nice but more like a bitter sweet experience.
I took a few minutes to watch the slideshow of the family photos on the screen and lost myself in their world for a few minutes.
Shortly after that I found myself having a small-talk with two dear friends I hadn’t seen in a long time.
When I expressed my sadness and my heavy heart, I asked about theirs and one friend said: “It’s very sad but I also find such events inspirational.”!
That comment JOLTED me out of my state and I wanted to know “the why” right away.
Because this very particular friend is one of the most inspirational, kind, and loving people I’ve ever come across and over the many years that I’ve known him, no matter the number of years passing by, his values have remained intact, always growing and contributing.
And that’s exactly why I wanted to learn what he was speaking of which I had obviously missed.
He said that by just listening to what the family were saying about their lost loved one: about the achievements, overcoming challenges, prioritizing love over all else, is what makes it so inspirational.
How did I miss that?! And what a perception!
Death does not just tell us that we’ve lost a loved one but leaves lessons behind on how to live a life worth living to its fullest.
In the past, I’ve had many conversations with those who’ve gone through such loss and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told them to remember their departed for how they lived and not how they died.
But the thought of learning to be inspired while at the event never crossed my mind.
You see, that’s where the real lesson lies.
We hear the stories, we cry along with the families and we have the utmost empathy and sympathy for them but we’re not fully aware, in that moment, of the most important lesson being delivered by the one person who has left us.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it all night and that’s why I decided to tell you about this today even though it’s very tough for me to write it.
I wanted to share the fresh view we all need to have ESPECIALLY at times like these.
Even in the darkest moments, there are still rays of light to be found.
You just have to CHOOSE to see them.
Please leave your comments and questions in the box below. I will read and answer every single one to help serve you better. Remember, you can help others as someone in need may be reading them and benefit from your words. Thank you for being part of the progress.