During the past few months I’ve encountered many happy occasions, almost as many as the challenging ones knocking on my door.
At times, I was so overwhelmed that it felt like I’m drowning without a shoreline in sight and yet I kept pushing forward believing that change is as inevitable as the great life lessons it contains.
At times, I even hit the doubt button thinking: “Seriously?! Is this ride ever gonna end?!”!
But I’m a “digger” and I don’t give up easily.
The more my emotions were stirred up, the deeper I dug to find the meaning, the reason, and the cause for all the feelings running through me.
I dig to move closer to my own truth; a place where doubt, shame, judgement, criticism, etc. simply cannot last, especially on the lows of the ride.
Throughout this recent journey, I learned that the most energizing and uplifting factor that kept me going, was GRATITUDE.
Being even more grateful and counting my blessings not only calmed me but centred my being.
I made a conscious choice not to lose track of practicing it as many times a day as possible.
And that was just the beginning of what I was being prepared for which was still on its way.
The more grateful I became the quicker and easier my challenges moved out of my way and the universe kept delivering generously.
Throughout it all, I still had a very satisfying sense of fulfillment and joy which caught my attention as in the far past, most of my focus was on solving the problems knowing it will feel better later but not during.
It was the powerful effects of gratitude that delivered such light and energy into every minute of the day.
Then it all came together this past weekend.
My birthday was coming up and for the very first time in my life, I decided not to have a party.
I know it sounds odd to you because many don’t celebrate their birthdays but I strongly believe that life must be celebrated and appreciated by sharing it with friends and loved ones, especially on the day you were given the gift of life.
Tell you truth I was out of sorts and most shockingly, out of energy!
Why shocking?
Because oddly enough, it just doesn’t happen!
Low and behold my very dearest friends had planned a super fun surprise party for my birthday and I was definitely surprised.
Up until this date, no one has ever been able to pull off a surprise party for me as I’m usually 10 steps ahead of it all.
Those sneaky little devils! 😀
The birthday surprise was a great success and the day after, a group of us attended TEDx Vancouver for some better learning and the day after that, I was invited to a fun brunch with very special friends.
I felt like the luckiest girl alive.
I was beyond happy and grateful throughout and I didn’t think I could possibly be any more blessed for such precious moments, except for one more very special event which I was looking forward to all weekend, and that was to celebrate my birthday having dinner with the most loving woman who brought me to this world.
On my way out the door to the dinner, my mom was calling me again (we had just spoken) and when I picked up she said: “Tandar, I’ve been in car accident!”.
My world just stopped!
I asked her if she was injured and if she was ok. She quickly assured me, gave me the location and had to hang up, as the paramedics and the police had just arrived.
I don’t know how I got to the scene of the accident, which was on a highway near my parents’ house. I wasn’t driving like a maniac but I was so focused on getting there I realized later that I was going pretty fast!
Finally, when I got there and saw the two fire trucks, ambulance and the police car surrounding my mom’s crushed car, I thought I was going to throw up.
When I parked, I got out and began running towards her as I needed to know see it with my own eyes that she’s ok and not badly hurt.
She seemed ok but was limping when walking. Right after I finished talking to the police and the firemen, I took her to the hospital. We were there for almost 5 hours while the doctors ran many tests including an X-ray and a CT Scan to make sure she was ok.
The doctors finally came back with the results and said all seems to be fine on the inside and we both finally took a deep breath.
It was a definite miracle given the shape her car was in from the impact of the crash.
She was just very sad that we didn’t get to celebrate my birthday together which I assured her that knowing she is ok is the biggest birthday gift ever to me.
When I got her home and was fully assured that she was safe and sound, I left to go back to my place as she insisted.
On my way back, I was thinking that just when you think you can’t be any more grateful and happy you get another chance to be even more appreciative for life.
Who knew there were different levels of gratitude!
As I mentioned earlier above, when I was going through my last round of ordeals, I thought: “Seriously?! Is this ever gonna end?!”.
And now, all I can think of is: “Seriously?! How else can I be even more grateful than I already am?”.
Believe me it is so easily possible to find ways to be thankful and focus on all that you HAVE rather than focusing on all that is missing.
And due to my “digging” nature, I now know that the events from past few months was preparing me for this one incident as I was surprisingly calm and patient going through it all.
The only emotion that has took over my entire being for the past few months, and especially the last few days, has been GRATITUDE and nothing else.
There are different levels of grace and when you reach one of the highest levels, it’s impossible to go back.
You’re awakened to it.
So next time you’re going through a bad moment(s), after you question it all!, just say: “Thank you.”.
It will pave the road and ease the pain instantly as all the magical things in life are found within this one very simple action: Gratitude.
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